Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Be Present ... This Moment.


Yesterday while rummaging through some old picture folders in my PC came across my betrothal and marriage pictures. There were just few pictures which I actually liked, the rest of them were all mandatory family and couple pictures. I'm not blaming the photographer. I was not a very cooperative bride. I was busy doing or arranging stuffs for both the functions either with my eyes or hands or emotions or mind. 



I cannot even remember a moment I felt relaxed or happy or enjoying the moment. During my betrothal's reception, I was worried whether everything will be fine. Whether the cake will reach at the right time? Will everyone like the decor? Will the food be enough? I forgot to take picture alone with my brother, best friend or even parents. When it was time to get my single pictures, I was busy settling the hotel and decor bill. 

During marriage it was just one moment, which the truth of 'I'm getting married' actually struck me, the moment before he was tying the knot. Till then, I was like this bouquet is heavy, I told them I wanted a light weight one and still they gave me this. Gosh, these heels are killing my feet. My veil!. OH! Yea should smile. Then then lighting stricked and I was like. What the hell am I doing here? Who's this guy standing next to me? Am I doing the wrong thing? Do he even know me? And even before I finished thinking the marriage was done, and the priest was blessing us to have 100 kids. 

Then everything in the reception was dizzy. A saree which refused to sit still, some guests who wanted time to tease the newlyweds and a picture, others who expected me to remember them from my baby years, friends whom I wanted to just take away to some faraway place and just have some wine, but just got time for a hug, music which everyone applauded and I didn't even notice. Everything was like a mirage.

I can't remember …
One moment I was utterly happy.
One moment where I was at ease.
One moment where I didn't think about anything else but me.
One moment where I believed everything was just fine and I could let out that breath I was holding.

One thing I learned from this is, what matters is your happiness. No matter what you do, if you are not happy or if you fail to enjoy the moment then everything else is absolute nonsense. 


“Be present in all things and thankful for all things.” 
― 
Maya Angelou












Thursday, August 10, 2017

If we were having coffee ...



If we were having coffee
We would sit across
With a cappuccino and a cold coffee

If we were having coffee
It would be from a handshake to mundane things of world
From black hole to simple blessings
From fears to real time happiness
From loneliness to death

If we were having coffee
We would travel the world with conversations
With each sip our forehead creases are smoothened
Shoulder stiffness are eased
And smile makes its sneak peak onto our lips

If we were having coffee
It would fill our souls till we drift off peacefully
With our thoughts and words making their way to universe
Hoping to cross the oceans and reach us.



 I am taking part in The Write Tribe Festival of Words #6





A Musical Guest


“Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest; heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul.” 

Today I have here not a author, blogger or a writer of any sort but a person who delivers his creativity through singing. 

Robin Prasad

He’s a passionate singer, who’s an Engineer by day and a singer by night. Among us friends, he’s the one who lives just for music. Today, as a guest-post I am featuring his creativity, a song he has sung. He have no idea that I’m doing this. So do listen, enjoy and share the music.

Over to his voice. I do recommend using headphones. 







What do you think? Share your thoughts. 

You can find more of his songs here





                               I am taking part in The Write Tribe Festival of Words #6



Tuesday, August 8, 2017

For You ... A letter.


Dear You,

One thing leads to another. One month leads to another. And one year led to eighth. Times flies yet makes us realize that indeed it’s a complicated journey.

There are times I wonder, why you left so fast. Why you didn’t stay back to make more memories? You know what I miss about us the most? The opportunity to get to know each other better.

We were just acquaintances when we interrupted each other’s life with so much of power. But I would have loved to experience many phases of that. I wish we had the time to grow up together.

Some nights when sleep fails to embrace me, my thoughts sail to you. And suddenly a fear grips me.

What if I forget you one day?

What if I won’t be able to remember your face, the glint in your eyes or that smirk you have? 

What if, one day when I try to draw your face in my mind, I fail? 

What if the memories start to dribble out of my memory while I desperately try to hold them?

There are days and moments when I miss you so much that make me wonder how I kept going till date without you in your life. But that's how life turns out to be. You'll miss people who're important to you; you just have to live without souls whom you don't want to leave... You'll have to learn to survive without the presence of those whom you always wanted in your life.
But some days are gloomier than the rest and some nights darker than yesterdays. Some moments lonelier than the previous...  And I just miss you so much at this moment than the rest, especially when today marks the eighth year of your leaving.  

I wish ...

… If only, one day I would wake up from a deep slumber and realize all these years were just dreams, very bad dreams …


… Just a wishful thinking …



Me.



P.S. Today is the eighth year of demise of a dear soul, M. Over the years I have written so many letters to him in the space and otherwise. Even when we, his friends and family miss him dearly, we all are so grateful for his presence in our family. 





                                I am taking part in The Write Tribe Festival of Words #6







Monday, August 7, 2017

A Day in Life


Her alarm buzzed at 6.30am, 6.45 & 7am only to be turned off and pull the blankets to cover her face, even without blinking the eyes. She know there’s going to be more to jerk her out of bed and promptly that rang at 7.30am.
Even without properly opening her eyes she took her phone, changed to silent mode (the notification sound irritates her in the morning) and connected to WIFI to scan through the messages. As usual the WriteTribe group is fully active with more than 100 messages, she thinks while keeping her phone aside.
After turning, tossing and stretching she takes herself out of the bed to the washroom after the morning prayers, grabbing the book on her bed stand.
Once out of washroom with a “Chechi Kaapi” scream she slammed her room shut and within 20 minutes she’s out of her home with another scream, “Amma Bye. Breakfast venda.”

Once at work, her time flies with the daily to-do list and works. But once in a while she feels that a 9-5 job was much easier to heart and brains than the own ventures as there’s no pressure except for deadlines.
But the freedom one enjoys, and the excitement and adrenaline rush to do something new and the happiness when good things happen is immense. At that moment for her every ounce of pressure feels really small.

By afternoon one thing she feels grateful for is a home and mom, where a warm lunch will be waiting for her everyday even at 4pm. 
The break time is usually hooked up with blogging, reading or TV time.
After break, work resumes by 6pm which can extend till 10-11pm depending upon the scenario. 

Once back home and done with the day, after a quick dinner, either she slobs onto her favorite corner of the couch with a movie running or she retires to bed with a book until every drop of energy is oozed out. Her daily life is a routine. Sometimes it freaks her out fearing its monotonous, making her forget that it's OK to meltdown. But most of the days, there's something good in a routine to look forward. 

And that's Sleep



                            I am taking part in The Write Tribe Festival of Words #6







Lost in Map






"Aman? Do you have any idea where we are?"

Aman puts the car into parking gear and tried to regain the signal in his mobile to load the map.

"I'm trying to find the way out. Calm down, Zoya."

"Are we lost?”

"Mmmh... I think so..." He said holding his hands higher to the skies and praying for at least a glimpse of a weak signal. 

"Oh My God!" She exclaimed and snatched his phone and threw it to the backseat and grinned... 

"Atlast! We are lost and free!"




                                  I am taking part in The Write Tribe Festival of Words #6








Saturday, August 5, 2017

My Favorite Resource


My laptop is nearly 10 years old. Its battery is insanely short. Have changed its power plug thrice, the keypad twice, changed software and done numerous services too. But none of these could make me change my laptop.


Ever since I have got this one, I haven’t used another one with ease. The numerous presentations, editing for dramas, designing for posters and brochures for work, my writings everything for all these years was done using this. My brother calls this an old junk. But for me it’s my greatest resource. My gateway to learn new ideas and apps. So even when it’s old and needs repair now and then, I am in love with it from day one.  








Friday, August 4, 2017

Treasures in Life


“I am done with you all.” … Saying this I went inside my room and slammed the door.
Tears choked me and soaked my pillow. Eventually I slept off.

When I woke up in the middle of the night hearing the buzzing of my phone this is want awaited me … Numerous missed calls, whatsapp messages and texts.



Even when I slammed my door on to others, they make sure I’m still there within their arm’s length. People in my life are my greatest treasure. No matter what happens in life, I’ll be forever rich. 






Sunday, July 30, 2017

Moving Away ...



After ten years of marriage they sat across each other with light years of miles between them. In the silence each tick of the clock echoed their ears. Sometimes when people love each other fiercely, just a bit of a strain can be the reason for the brittleness of their relation. 

Years ago if it was their love for children that brought them together, today it's the loss of a child that tore them away. Initially they grieved together but when their grief took different routes they just couldn’t stay together anymore.





Linking this to  #WritingWednesdays  & to the #SaturdayMicrofiction of Write Tribe. 






Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Break Some Rules.



Have you ever thought, “Hell No, I’m done with these rules!”? I have.

Plenty of times.

Two days ago I was talking about the same with a friend of mine about how I am with some rules and restrictions that tags along with them.  I am not a person or never being one of them who could break rules just like that even when I have such an image.

Initially, I try to obey them, then when the rules starts to choke me, I bend them a bit to have that air space and finally when I’m breathless I break them!

I was am (not sure anymore), tagged as a rebel, tom-boy and stubborn. I took the life transformative decisions in haste or rather gave up to my parents. And no, they didn’t impose any of them on me. They asked my opinion and I just let them have their way. But one thing I discovered rather late was that I never gave upon my decisions or likes. I just weighed my opinions as secondary, and acted slowly.

But,

When I decided my happiness were way more important than others, I was breaking the selfless rule.

When I decided that my integrity was far worthy than any relation, there I broke a rule.

When I chose not to wear the *nishaani’s of marriage to please the public, I broke the good-wife rule.

When I befriended more males than females, I broke the nice-girl rule.

When I decided to walk-out of life-ruining situations, I was labeled as an arrogant lady and there I broke a rule.

When I dismayed to be silent against the obscenities of a man, I was breaking the **adarsh Bhartiya naari rule.

When I raised voice against the lies and embarrassment one bestowed upon me, I was the breaking the compromise rule and ‘girls don’t raise their voice’ rule.

This rule … That rule

Blah blah blah!

There are going to be millions to tag you, label you, poke you even drag you down when you break some nonsense rules and start thinking and acting the way you wish to. But just keep in mind, that none of them are walking in your shoes. Only you, you alone will understand your path and will be able to make decisions for you.




Don’t give up that right of yours for anything and anyone.

So go on… Break some rules.

For your …

Happiness … Freedom … Life 

And for yourself.

You’ll be fine. Actually, more than fine. 



* nishaani’s of marriage  - Signs of marriage like wedding ring.


** adarsh Bhartiya naari – Ideal Indian Woman



Read Ishitaa's Blogpost too on Break Some Rules, You will be fine.  I got this post idea from her's. 

Linking this to #MondayMusings at EveryGyaan











Monday, July 24, 2017

The One That Got Away


If I say “I miss you" that would be an understatement.
I miss the fact that you're missing life and the things that might have happened in your life.
I miss seeing your face pop up in my social media.
I miss your existence.
And that sneaks hatred into me.
I hate that you would remain ageless when the world beneath you grows old.
I hate to see the world moving on without you, and there's absolutely no chaos in that.
I hate the conversations where I get to listen nothing.
I hate the mornings when I feel grumpy missing your physical being
I hate the nights when I miss your warmth.
I hate that you haunts me every day without my permission.
I hate that you got away from me.
All because …

I miss you. 


Linking this to #FridayReflections