My dear Zindagi … My dear life…
What a beautiful mess you’re? What all you have taken me to? What all you have made me endure?
But you know what? I always loved you, even when I hated you. All these years we have made so many infinite moments of smiles, tears, excitement, adventure, terror, fluttering heart, tickling tummy and every emotions that’s ever discovered. From a happy-go-lucky-girl to bold-stubborn to the present, you have taken me through everything.
12 years ago, I never for once thought at 27 this is how my life would be. At 15 when life looked so hopeful, filled with so much of promises, added with confidence and anything to do attitude, I thought, Yes! This is life. This is You. No tears, worries, losses, or anything bad. Then, it was all about aiming for the stars.
But down the lane, when I started to grow, I encountered everything. From good to best, bad to worse, flickering heart to heart break. Those were the days when I lost the love I had for you. And should say it lasted for long. There were times I just wanted to leave you and run far away, but the love you had for me was so strong that you never let me leave your side.
Those happy teen years when everything was happening so routinely happy with been everyone’s favorite to taking home good grades at the end of a decade. Then college happened with new faces, new lessons, first love and twinkling eyes between college fest and internals. Everything was so sure then. Couldn’t wait to make all those plans into reality. There you caught me. Giving me that absolute jerk like you were trying to wake me up from a trance. I literally saw all my plans falling down as if they were a card castle. I blamed you for that. Only you! But you pulled me near to you with a tight hug and taught me lessons I had to learn. Lessons about failure, patience, sacrifice, endurance, kindness and moreover filled my heart with a zest for you. For some time in the past I regretted for the mistakes I have done, for not listening to my instincts but I realize it have made me who I’m today. And I firmly believe that whatever you send my way is for good.
At 15, I exactly knew what I wanted at my 20s, 30s and so on. But at 27, I have no idea what I want tomorrow. At 15 I thought you; life was so happy and colorful like a rainbow. But now I realize, you are indeed a rainbow, and the different colors portray the different emotions and experiences in life. And now at this moment, I may not be where I wanted to be... I may not be happy with all the decisions I took... I may not be having the job I dreamed of or the people I thought will be there.
But now I know you’re all about the journey, the experiences, doing mistakes, letting go and extending one hand to shake hands with new people yet holding the other one with people from your yesterdays, dreaming about the stars and living the untold journey. And I am happy doing that holding your hands.
Thank you for all the smiles, scars, love and warmth. I am this because you believed in me.
Thank you, Zindagi.
I know there are so much more of you for me, waiting eagerly for that.